In my profession as a freelancer, I am used to the process of starting and ending projects. I know that I love to start new initiatives, want to learn more and more and do a lot for my clients. New clients and clients I work for during a longer period. Clients that love to come back. Clients that are only there for one project. It is all in the game. Being in the corona bubble for more than 2 years did something with all of us. And with me as well. Now I am working again in Amsterdam, travel more and am surrounded by colleagues. Drink coffee with them and create together bigger projects and results than I could do by myself. This makes me wonder, could this be a moment to think about working for one organization again? This togetherness feels so good and strong. Could this be a solution for the ups and downs I so feel as an entrepreneur?

I just received a message from a client, I used to work for, just saying thank you. Nothing else. Not that thank you is not good. It is the never-ending cycle of being an entrepreneur. But it is the way it is said that gives me not a very good feeling. It feels vulnerable and naked. Yes, I think that is the way I want to put it here. And I know this, this happened before sometimes. Is it that I want to flourish every seed I plant? Do I want to harvest too much, or too quick? But deep inside me, I know I am faithful. And I want to be close with my clients. Not having them as friends, but going through all kind of cycles together. Never-ending. And yes, I know this is not the way the universe works. It is receiving, seeding, accepting, giving and releasing. The art of creating and the art of letting go. But that hurts too you know. To feel this in my body is not something I like. None of us, likes this I suppose. But it is part of the whole, of the light and the dark, about the cycles of nature. Of life.

Brené Brown is writing a lot about this. Her book, Rising strong is one of my favorites. It is all about the process of falling down in the arena and standing up again. Again and again and again. The way she is writing about this process and how this can affect you and makes you feel humble and naked, is so profound.

So today, I am opening myself to all there is. Being in the arena of life with every aspect. The yes and the no. The go and the stop. Everything is welcome. At least I will try.

Have a be you ti ful day!

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